Seriously??

Alright peeps. It's obvious I am not the most committed blogger. (Insert eye roll.) But since I hear tell that not one, but TWO of you have recently commented on my absence from blogland, I decided I must surprise you and do a post. Or make a post. Or post a post. Whatever you call it. See?

So this post is about my latest revelation. I HAVE TWO READERS!!! Granted, they've gotten off easy this past year (or two, but who's counting?) since they haven't actually had to read ANYTHING new. But still! TWO READERS!! Yahooooooo!!!!! You like me! You really like me!


Thank you, thankyouverymuch. :) :)

I Just Can't Believe It

Hey everyone (emphasis on 'one')~~I'M BAAAAACK!!! Haha! And I just can't believe it! CANNOT believe it! A huge part of my problem with keeping up with this blog has been that bain of my existence/slower than me running a mile/piece o' poo/decrepit old laptop computer I've been forced to ignore for at least a year now. To explain how slow it was, it has just taken me all of 5 minutes on my new laptop to redecorate my blog background, whereas on the aforementioned piece o' poo it would take me well over an hour. Just to redecorate the stupid thing. With just a copy and paste procedure. Sheesh. Can you believe that?? I just cannot. (Big props to Michele who recently~or not so recently, I would not know~redecorated HER blog background using a cutie patootie new free blog background website which I then copied quick as I could! Thanks for blazing the trail girlfriend.)



So anyway, I just wanted to let you (singular 'you'~and 'you' know who 'you' are) know that due to the fact that I have obtained a superfast/quick as lightning/brand-spankin' new laptop computer 'you' might be seeing a little bit more action on this hot bliggity blog in the coming days. Or at the least the coming months. And I just can't believe it. I am so happy. *Sniff*

Night Owl~Hoot! Hoot!

I get a little silly late at night. Things that are usually only "mildly amusing" are *!HILARIOUS!* when it's the middle of the night and I've still got some energy about me. Guess I've always been a night owl. Come to think of it, when I was a teenager my mother would often find me in my room at 2 a.m. rearranging the furniture. She'd look at me bleary-eyed and squinting, and we'd have the following conversation:

Mama (sleepy and a lot irritated): "What in the world are you doing?"

Me (impervious): "Rearranging my room."

Mama (thinking "duh!"): "Can it not wait til tomorrow?"

Me (with a similarly annoyed tone): "But, I'm up NOW. Sheesh!"


(I must admit the "Sheesh!" was under my breath and only uttered after my mother was out of earshot. And if you didn't already know, I'm the type who likes to act on something ASAP once I've made up my mind to do it. Anyone out there relate?)


Needless to say, it's a wonder I didn't hurt myself moving around a queen bed, a dresser, a chest of drawers and a t.v. all by myself. And it's a wonder my mama didn't kill me for waking her up to the sound of bumping into walls with said furniture in the wee hours of the night on many an occasion. I'm gonna have to remember this when one of my bunch starts pulling these same shenanigans in a few years. I just pray it's something so tame!

Recipe for Evil

You know how it is when you get a craving for a particular food item and well, just nothing else will do? Usually for me that craving is pizza. I do love me some pizza y'all. We usually get a thin crust with pepperoni and black olives. It's the favorite in our house and all five of us just adore it. Now let me really gross you out. My uuuultimate favorite? That apparently nobody will make because they just don't *have* both of these toppings in the same restaurant at the same time, and apparently no one else on earth wants this particular combo????? Black olives AND green olives. Wow...is anybody still reading? Yes, black AND green olive pizza is my very favorite, very best, out of this world kind of pizza. Preferably by Pizza Hut. Back in the day when the pizza execs were smarter, they actually offered this kind of pizza. Don't know when they were so led astray. But back to the cravings....

My twins recently celebrated their third birthday, so to go along with the Scooby Doo theme that they actually agreed to share (bless their little hearts!--at least one more year before I have to start throwing the "dual" birthday parties with different themes and decorations and cakes and friends and and and...), I decided I'd make what's called "Puppy Chow" as a cute little tie in to the Scooby Doo/dog theme. You may have heard it called "Muddy Buddies" or "White Trash" or some other really complimentary name, but for the party we called it "Puppy Chow." Well, I bought plenty of ingredients to make extra, and this weekend I made the extra batch. And y'all that stuff is evil. Pure evil. I am not usually the peanut butter and chocolate lover that I know many of you are, so be forewarned: this stuff is so good it'll make you want to slap your Granny. Your cute little Granny. I promise.

My sister gave me this recipe, and just so I'm not alone in my suffering, I thought I'd share it with you in case you haven't yet had the pleasure. I would attach a picture of the finished product but it's gone y'all. G-O-N-E gone!

Recipe for Evil

*9 cups rice chex cereal
*1 pkg. (6 oz.) semisweet chocolate chips
*1/2 cup peanut butter
*1/4 cup butter or margarine
*1 tsp. vanilla
*1 1/2 cups powdered sugar

Measure cereal into large bowl; set aside. Microwave chocolate chips, peanut butter and butter in medium microwavable bowl on high for 1 minute; stir. Micro 30 seconds longer or until mixture can be stirred smooth. Stir in vanilla. Pour over cereal in bowl, stirring until evenly coated. Scoop into large plastic food-storage bag; add powdered sugar. Seal bag; shake until well coated. Spread on waxed paper to cool. Store in airtight container in refrigerator.

There's one last step they forgot and that's pray for forgiveness. Anyway, have fun with making this, and leave me a comment if you feel my pain. Or if you just want to tell me about any evil cravings you're having at the moment. I need some company.

I Got Da Bluuues

Hey everybody! :) No, I'm not talking about macaroni and cheese (By the way, YUCK can't stand that stuff! And I know some of you will think I'm just un-American or un-Southern or whatever). But I'm really referring to "the blues" which is just about my very favorite kind of music. Being a Mississippi girl I get my love of "the blues" honest and no music carries me away to childhood and hot Mississippi summers like some Buddy Guy, Robert Johnson, Muddy Waters, B.B. King and even those lesser known but amazing artists like Howlin' Wolf, Clarence "Gatemouth" Brown, and Big Mama Thornton. And if you think those names are funny, check out some of my favorite funny song titles. Here's my TOP 12 (*wink wink my Jester girlies) and these are for real, y'all!

12. Why Don't You Haul Off and Love Me
11. If The Washing Don't Get You, The Rinsing Will
10. I Feel That Old Age Coming On
9. It's Yo World (And I'm Just Livin' In It)
8. Cornbread
7. Pressure Cooker ('Bout To Blow)
6. Funky Butt
5. Yo Dress Is Too Short
4. Let Me Play With Your Poodle
3. Meet Me With Your Black Drawers On
2. Wang Dang Doodle
1. Your Husband Is Cheatin' On Us

I don't think people would guess just how much humor there is in blues music, which is maybe another reason I like it so much. And great blues music is still being made today, although I'm not sure the song titles are as *ahem* interesting as they used to be. :) But if you're not familiar with the blues and want to get a listen, here's a CD that's filled with great classics and new favorites.

I'm no expert on the genre, but I really like this disc. Check it out on Amazon.com Pure Blues and you can listen to samples of the songs. And if you're a fan like I am, let me know some of your favorite artists or albums. With summer coming I can't get enough of my downhome Southern blues y'all!

What Have I Done?!?

Do you remember a few weeks ago when I told you about my winning the lottery and having to go incognito for awhile to avoid the publicity? I didn't?! Are you sure??

Okay then, think really hard...don't you remember I mentioned something about being away for a bit on a mission trip to the Congo...putting on a Vacation Bible School in the rainforest for the monkeys and tropical birds? No wait, that's not it either huh?

Well, how 'bout I was kidnapped by a filthy rich royal family from a beautiful but tiny island in the Whatever Sea (I'm really bad with geography!) and was forced to tell them jokes and feed them grapes all day long? Is that fathomable in the least?

Alright, alright. Enough with the excuses. Truth is, sometimes I just need a break. From it all. But especially the computer. Like most, I tend to get caught up in the internet and it's vast unending possibilities and searches and social networking sites. This happens for weeks or months on end. And then, just like after a sugar rush, I come crashing down. And hard. And the computer is the last thing I want to see or touch or hear or taste or smell.

Just kidding...I've only licked my computer once that I recall. Darn pics of Outback Aussie Cheese Fries! Why must you tempt me so?

ANYWAY, I apologize that I did not put a disclaimer in the sidebar. "At times this blog will be left by it's owner to grow dusty and stale and stagnant. Readers Beware: Follow at Your Own Risk." I should have at least warned you that "real life" sometimes wins out and this blog and it's friends will be left in the dust...or maybe somewhere in the Congo. But if you're still checking in every so often and haven't yet given up on me, please let me know. I'm anxiously awaiting the chance to feed you some grapes and tell you a good, clean, funny joke.

Blog Therapy?

Have I told you how obsessive I can be? I like to have everything on the shelf with the label facing out...it just looks neater that way and boy, it helps ya find stuff a lot faster. And yes, when purchasing a magazine I have to grab the one near the middle-back of the stack...you know, the one no one's already perused and bent up the pages. Well, today as I was working on a little project for my daughter's upcoming Easter celebration at school, I was going about it business as usual and it occurred to me that some of you may not realize how much thought and planning goes into filling 12 little plastic Easter eggs with candy. I wrote down some instructions, so here's what you do:


Step One: Carefully cut the end of each bag open in as straight a line as possible. Then spread the candy out before you so you can see the variety of colors and make sure there are no broken pieces or torn wrappers. Discard unacceptable pieces. Throw them straight in the trash can so you do not dare use one accidentally.



Step Two: Open one plastic Easter egg noting what color it is. Carefully choose two to three pieces of candy of differing colors to place in the egg. The candy colors must not be the same as the egg or any other piece of candy placed in said egg. (Sorry for the fuzzy picture...stupid camera phone.)

Step Three: It is often helpful to lay out each egg/candy combination in order to make sure you do not duplicate that particular combination with another egg. Sometimes I skip Step Three when I'm feeling rebellious. Shhh...don't tell.






Step Four: Apply stickers to the completed eggs so they do not come open in the bag on the way to the fun school Easter celebration. It is imperative that the stickers are of a different color than the egg, and of course, no two stickers may be the same color. (See Step Two) If the stickers are of varying size, please choose one of each to place on the egg. Place them in a pretty bowl to admire for a bit, making sure the eggs are not side-by-side with their same color mate. Yes, I'm aware the yellows are a little too close...thanks for reminding me.


And voila~12 plastic eggs, filled and ready to hunt! You thought I was gonna make it hard on you huh?

I do have to share that the stickers I bought do not stay stuck very well. I guess I could go buy a different kind but I'm a little too tired after slaving over the eggs. And let's be honest, one must learn to pick one's candy-filled Easter egg battles...don't you think?


(*This post is dedicated to all my obsessive-compulsive, anal-retentive, watch-out-or-I'm-gonna-implode friends...and you know who you are...because you are crying at this very moment. And if any of you know how to make all these paragraphs and pictures parallel, for heaven's sake fill me in!)